Mae West

“Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I’m tired.” ~ Mae West

“Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost.” ~ Mae West

“Come up and see me sometime.” ~ Mae West

“I consider sex a misdemeanor, the more I miss, de meaner I get.” ~ Mae West

“I speak two languages, Body and English.” ~ Mae West

“Everything’s in the mind. That’s where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.” ~ Mae West

“His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.” ~ Mae West

“How tall are you big boy? Six foot nine inches! Let’s go up to my place and talk about the nine inches!” ~ Mae West

“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor, and rich is better.” ~ Mae West

“I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.” ~ Mae West

“It ain’t no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don’t break any.” ~ Mae West

“I only read biographies, metaphysics and psychology. I can dream up my own fiction.” ~ Mae West

“He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.” ~ Mae West

“A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.” ~ Mae West

“If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!” ~ Mae West

“Women are as old as they feel and men are old when they lose their feelings.” ~ Mae West

“Sex is emotion in motion.” ~ Mae West

“Look your best – who said love is blind?” ~ Mae West

“Goodness had nothing to do with it.” ~ Mae West

“I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.” ~ Mae West

“Don’t let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.” ~ Mae West

“It is better to be looked over than overlooked.” ~ Mae West

“We’re intellectual opposites. Well, I’m intellectual and you’re opposite.” ~ Mae West

“I freely chose the kind of life I led because I was convinced that a woman has as much right as a man to live the way she does if she does no actual harm to society.” ~ Mae West

“A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.” ~ Mae West

“He who hesitates is a damned fool.” ~ Mae West

“I’ve been things and seen places.” ~ Mae West

“Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” ~ Mae West

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” ~ Mae West

“Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action.” ~ Mae West

“Love thy neighbor – and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.” ~ Mae West

“Marriage is like a book. The whole story takes place between the covers.” ~ Mae West

“Let’s get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini…” ~ Mae West

“Don’t cry for a man who’s left you – the next one may fall for your smile.” ~ Mae West

“The curve is more powerful than the sword.” ~ Mae West

“An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.” ~ Mae West

“The best way to behave is to misbehave.” ~ Mae West

“Dating means two things; disillusionment or a racing heart.” ~ Mae West

“I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.” ~ Mae West

“Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for years.” ~ Mae West

“Life’s just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.” ~ Mae West

“I like my clothes tight enough to show I’m a woman, but loose enough to show I’m a lady.” ~ Mae West

“Women want certain things in marriage – the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.” ~ Mae West

“When women go wrong, men go right after them.” ~ Mae West

“A good man is hard to find – but you’ll mostly find him asleep.” ~ Mae West

“It’s not what you say, but how you say it!” ~ Mae West

“There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.” ~ Mae West

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” ~ Mae West

“Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” ~ Mae West

“You are never too old to become younger!” ~ Mae West

“Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.” ~ Mae West

“March isn’t the only thing that’s in like a lion and out like a lamb.” ~ Mae West

“Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” ~ Mae West

“When you get the personality, you don’t need the nudity.” ~ Mae West

“You gotta get up early in the morning to catch a fox and stay up late at night to get a mink.” ~ Mae West

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” ~ Mae West

“Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” ~ Mae West

“I’m a woman of very few words, but lots of action.” ~ Mae West

“If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.” ~ Mae West

“To err is human, but it feels divine.” ~ Mae West

“Never mind about the six feet. Let’s talk about the seven inches.” ~ Mae West

“It isn’t what I do, but how I do it. It isn’t what I say, but how I say it, and how I look when I do it and say it.” ~ Mae West

“When in doubt take a bath.” ~ Mae West

“Women are like roads. The more curves they have, the more dangerous they are.” ~ Mae West

“Everyone has the right to run his own life- even if you’re heading for a crash. What I’m against is blind flying.” ~ Mae West

“Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.” ~ Mae West

“When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better.” ~ Mae West

“You may think you’re in love when the passions of sex get hold of you, but if you didn’t love the man before, you won’t love him after. Like him, maybe, but not love him.” ~ Mae West

“Dates in Calendar are Closer Than They Appear! Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. Keep a diary, and someday it’ll keep you.” ~ Mae West

“Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.” ~ Mae West

“Money is of value for what it buys, and in love it buys time, place, intimacy, comfort, and a private corner alone.” ~ Mae West

“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.” ~ Mae West

“Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.” ~ Mae West

“For a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived. Did I reform, you ask? No. I’m not ashamed anymore.” ~ Mae West

“I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.” ~ Mae West

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~ Mae West

“I’m single because I was born that way.” ~ Mae West

“I have never loved a man as much as I have loved myself.” ~ Mae West

“Some of the wildest men make the best pets.” ~ Mae West

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” ~ Mae West

“Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.” ~ Mae West

“A hard man is good to find.” ~ Mae West

“Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.” ~ Mae West

“Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.” ~ Mae West

“Brains are an asset to the woman in love who’s smart enough to hide ’em.” ~ Mae West

“It’s hard to find a good man, but it’s good to find a hard one.” ~ Mae West

“No one can have everything, so you have to try for what you want most.” ~ Mae West

“I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.” ~ Mae West

“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ~ Mae West

“Don’t ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.” ~ Mae West

“The score never interested me, only the game.” ~ Mae West

“I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.” ~ Mae West

“Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~ Mae West

“Well, the end of another busy day. I can’t wait till I get back to bed. If that don’t work I’ll try to sleep.” ~ Mae West

“Well behaved women do not make history.” ~ Mae West

“Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.” ~ Mae West

“Love is what you make it and who you make it with.” ~ Mae West

“Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.” ~ Mae West

“Brains are an asset, if you hide them.” ~ Mae West

“Woman: You certainly know the way to a man’s heart. Mae West: Funny, too, ’cause I don’t know how to cook.” ~ Mae West

“Beulah, peel me a grape.” ~ Mae West

“Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love – that’s not so bad either.” ~ Mae West

“A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.” ~ Mae West

“A man’s kiss is his signature.” ~ Mae West

“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” ~ Mae West