Roald Dahl

“Everybody was feeling happy now. The sun was shining brightly out of a soft blue sky and the day was calm. The giant peach, with the sunlight glinting on its side, was like a massive golden ball sailing upon a silver sea.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world.” ~ Roald Dahl

“But this is not a fairy-tale. This is about REAL WITCHES.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Their skin hung loose over their bodies like suits they had inherited from larger ancestors, with the trousers ridiculously baggy.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I’d rather be fried alive and eaten by Mexicans.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The Bristol Channel was always my guide, and I was always able to draw an imaginary line from my bed to our house over in Wales. It was a great comfort.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If I were a headmaster, I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead and my pupils would study a subject that affected all of them.” ~ Roald Dahl

“We is having an interesting babblement about the taste of the human bean. The human bean is not a vegetable.” ~ Roald Dahl

“What a fortunate fellow I am, I kept telling myself. Nobody has ever had such a lovely time as this!” ~ Roald Dahl

“All Norwegian children learn to swim when they are very young because if you can’t swim it is difficult to find a place to bathe.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Dear children far across the sea, How nice of you to write to me. I love to hear the things you say When you are miles and miles away. All children, and I think I’m right, Are nicer when they’re out of sight!” ~ Roald Dahl

“For me, the pleasure of writing comes with inventing stories.” ~ Roald Dahl

“My father was a Norwegian who came from a small town near Oslo. He broke his arm at the elbow when he was 14, and they amputated it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!” ~ Roald Dahl

“Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I do have a blurred memory of sitting on the stairs and trying over and over again to tie one of my shoelaces, but that is all that comes back to me of school itself.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Fairy tales have always got to have something a bit scary for children – as long as you make them laugh as well.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A man does not rise to become the Queen’s butler unless he is gifted with extraordinary ingenuity, adaptability, versatility, dexterity, cunning, sophistication, sagacity, discretion, and a host of other talents than neither you nor I possess. Mr Tibbs had them all.” ~ Roald Dahl

“And don’t worry about the bits you can’t understand. Sit back and allow the words to wash around you, like music.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn’t poached eggs unless it’s been stolen in the dead of the night.” ~ Roald Dahl

“So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The romance, alas, waned and withered but the quiche lived on.” ~ Roald Dahl

“There is nothing more tantalizing than a thing like this which lingers just outside the borders of one’s memory.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Rainbow drops – suck them and you can spit in six different colours.” ~ Roald Dahl

“We make realities out of our dreams and dreams out of our realities. We are the dreamers of the dream.” ~ Roald Dahl

“We are all a great deal luckier that we realize, we usually get what we want – or near enough.” ~ Roald Dahl

“You chose books, I chose looks. Now see the difference?” ~ Roald Dahl

“Kindness – that simple word. To be kind – it covers everything, to my mind. If you’re kind that’s it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I never get any protests from children. All you get are giggles of mirth and squirms of delight. I know what children like.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Matilda had never once stopped to think about where Miss Honey might be living. She had always regarded her purely as a teacher, a person who turned up out of nowhere and taught at school and then went away again. Do any of us children, she wondered, ever stop to ask ourselves where our teachers go when school is over for the day? Do we wonder if they live alone, or if there is a mother at home or a sister or a husband?” ~ Roald Dahl

“Life is more fun if you play games.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you.” ~ Roald Dahl

“But there was one other thing that the grown-ups also knew, and it was this: that however small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance is there. The chance had to be there.” ~ Roald Dahl

“You’ll never get anywhere if you go about what-iffing like that.” ~ Roald Dahl

“She believed she could so she did.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Some children are spoiled and it is not their fault, it is their parents.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Obscurity is never a virtue.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If the Good Lord intended for us to walk, he wouldn’t have invented rollar skates.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I’ve heard tell that what you imagine sometimes comes true. -Grandpa Joe.” ~ Roald Dahl

“When you grow up and have children of your own, do please remember something important: A stodgy parent is not fun at all! What a child wants – and DESERVES – is a parent who is SPARKY!” ~ Roald Dahl

“When Bruce Bogtrotter had eaten his way through half of the entire enormous cake, he paused for just a couple of seconds and took several deep breaths.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Mr. Twit was a twit. He was born a twit. And, now at the age of sixty, he was a bigger twit than ever.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It is preferable to incur a mild punishment than to perform an onerous task.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The matter with human beans,” the BFG went on, “is that they is absolutely refusing to believe in anything unless they is actually seeing it right in front of their own schnozzles.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Mr. Bucket was the only person in the family with a job. He worked in a toothpaste factory, where he sat all day long at a bench and screwed the little caps onto the tops of the tubes of toothpaste after the tubes had been filled.” ~ Roald Dahl

“By sticking out his tongue and curling it sideways to explore the hairy jungle around his mouth, he was always able to find a tasty morsel here and there to nibble on.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Writing is mainly perspiration, not inspiration.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A rowdy little girl who gave way upon the slightest provocation to uncontrollable laughter.” ~ Roald Dahl

“When writing about oneself, one must strive to be truthful. Truth is more important than modesty.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Meanings is not important, said the BFG. I cannot be right all the time. Quite often I is left instead of right.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I have a passion for teaching kids to become readers, to become comfortable with a book, not daunted. Books shouldn’t be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful; and learning to be a reader gives a terrific advantage.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Two rights don’t equal a left.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A writer of fiction lives in fear. Each new day demands new ideas and he can never be sure whether he is going to come up with them or not.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The only sensible thing to do when you are attacked is, as Napoleon once said, to counter-attack.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I am only 8 years old, I told myself. No little boy of 8 has ever murdered anyone. It’s not possible.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I’ve always said to myself that if a little pocket calculator can do it why shouldn’t I?” ~ Roald Dahl

“But where, you might ask, is this book that the BFG wrote? It’s right here. You’ve just finished reading it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“You can write about anything for children as long as you’ve got humour.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I am certainly anti-Israel, and I have become anti-Semitic.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I was already beginning to realize that the only way to conduct oneself in a situation where bombs rained down and bullets whizzed past, was to accept the dangers and all the consequences as calmly as possible. Fretting and sweating about it all was not going to help.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Of course not. You can’t have a family hanging over you like a bunch of old dead goats. No offense.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A witch never gets caught. Don’t forget that she has magic in her fingers and devilry dancing in her blood.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Truth is more important than modesty.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Though my father was Norwegian, he always wrote his diaries in perfect English.” ~ Roald Dahl

“And Matilda found, to her surprise, that life could be fun. She decided to have as much fun as possible. After all, she was a very smart kid.” ~ Roald Dahl

“All through my school life I was appalled by the fact that masters and senior boys were allowed quite literally to wound other boys, and sometimes very severely.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Then suddenly, he was struck by a powerful but simple little truth, and it was this: that English grammar is governed by rules that are almost mathematical in their strictness!” ~ Roald Dahl

“I was a fighter pilot, flying Hurricanes all round the Mediterranean. I flew in the Western Desert of Libya, in Greece, in Syria, in Iraq and in Egypt.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It is almost worth going away because it’s so lovely coming back.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Of course they’re real people. They’re Oompa-Loompas… Imported direct from Loompaland… And oh what a terrible country it is! Nothing but thick jungles infested by the most dangerous beasts in the world – hornswogglers and snozzwangers and those terrible wicked whangdoodles. A whangdoodle would eat ten Oompa-Loompas for breakfast and come galloping back for a second helping.” ~ Roald Dahl

“There’s plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there’s only five of them in the whole world, and that’s all there’s ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common money. Are you a dummy?” ~ Roald Dahl

“Her face, I’m afraid, was neither a thing of beauty nor a joy for ever.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It was one of those golden autumn afternoons and there were blackberries and splashes of old man’s beard in the hedges, and the hawthorn berries were ripening scarlet for the birds when the cold winter came along. There were tall trees here and there on either side, oak and sycamore and ash and occasionally a sweet chestnut.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Candy is dandy but liqueur is quicker.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I began to realize how simple life could be if one had a regular routine to follow with fixed hours, a fixed salary, and very little original thinking to do.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The snozberries taste like snozberries!” ~ Roald Dahl

“Perhaps it’s chasing me. But I don’t think it will ever catch me because I am moving fast.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It is most unlikely. But – here comes the big “but” – not impossible.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Oh, books, what books they used to know, Those children living long ago! So please, oh please, we beg, we pray, Go throw your TV set away, And in its place you can install A lovely bookshelf on the wall.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The writer has to force himself to work. He has to make his own hours and if he doesn’t go to his desk at all there is nobody to scold him.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Nowadays you can go anywhere in the world in a few hours, and nothing is fabulous any more.” ~ Roald Dahl

“What’s that?’ Sophie cried. ‘That is all the giants zippfizzing off to another country to guzzle human beans,’ the BFG.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Fiona has the same glacial beauty of an iceburg, but unlike the iceburg she has absolutely nothing below the surface.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A good plot is like a dream.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I look and smell,’ Aunt Sponge declared, ’as lovely as a rose!” ~ Roald Dahl

“This dream is continuing very nice. It has a very dory-hunky ending.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The reason I collect good ideas is because plots themselves are very difficult indeed to come by.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The secret of life’, he said, ‘is to become very very good at somethin’ that’s very very ’ard to do.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Mr. Twit was one of these very hairy-faced men. The whole of his face except for his forehead, his eyes and his nose, was covered with thick hair. The stuff even sprouted in revolting tufts out of his nostrils and ear-holes.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Perhaps his anger was intensified because he saw her getting pleasure from something that was beyond his reach.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives… All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I am suspicious of both facility and speed.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I asked my mum, who’s a very clever psychotherapist, and she says that kids love stories about death; they need it, they need to have stories that deal with death and explain it, as a place to put their fears.” ~ Roald Dahl

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.” ~ Roald Dahl

“There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination. Living there, you’ll be free if you truly wish to be.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I’m right and you’re wrong, I’m big and you’re small, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Whips!” cried Veruca Salt, “What on earth do you use whips for?” “For whipping cream, of course,” said Mr. Wonka.

“Now look at me,” Mrs Wormwood said.

“I would love to to go somewhere else and pick peachy fruits in the early morning from the back of an elefunt.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I want an Oompa-Loompa!? screamed Veruca.” ~ Roald Dahl

“When I was 2, we moved into an imposing country mansion 8 miles west of Cardiff, Wales.” ~ Roald Dahl

“This is Mr. Bucket. This is Mrs. Bucket. Mr. and Mrs. Bucket have a small boy whose name is Charlie Bucket.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been in a different place with totally different people.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I go down to my little hut, where it’s tight and dark and warm, and within minutes I can go back to being six or seven or eight again.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The life of a writer is absolute hell compared to the life of a businessman.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It was no good. The moonbeam was like a silver blade slicing through the room on to her face. The.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Well, maybe it started that way. As a dream, but doesn’t everything. Those buildings. These lights. This whole city. Somebody had to dream about it first. And maybe that is what I did. I dreamed about coming here, but then I did it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“When I first thought about writing the book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I never originally meant to have children in it at all!” ~ Roald Dahl

“The little pig began to pray But Wolfie blew his house away. He shouted, “Bacon, Pork, and Ham! Oh what a lucky wolf I am!” And though he ate the pig quite fast, He carefully kept the tail till last.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Pear Drops were exciting because they had a dangerous taste. All of us were warned against eating them, and the result was that we ate them more than ever.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Never in a pig’s whistle!’ cried the BFG.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Come right up close to me and I will show you something wonderful.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Get up at once, you lazy little beast!” ~ Roald Dahl

“So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” ~ Roald Dahl

“This, he thought, is what hell must be like. Hell without heat. There was something unholy about it all, something unbelievably diabolical.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” ~ Roald Dahl

“You should never, never doubt something that no one is sure of.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Had I not had children of my own, I would have never written books for children, nor would I have been capable of doing so.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Don’t argue, my dear child, please don’t argue!” cried Mr. Wonka.

“Homesickness is a bit like seasickness. You don’t know how awful it is unti you get it, and when you do, it hits you right in the top of the stomach and you want to die.” ~ Roald Dahl

“And thus the journey ended. But the travelers lived on.” ~ Roald Dahl

“There’s someone over there needs a helping hand and it’s our job to give it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“When you’re old enough to write a book for children, by then you’ll have become a grown up and have lost all your jokeyness. Unless you’re an undeveloped adult and still have an enormous amount of childishness in you.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Sawdust in the gear-boxes, the electric-drill on the speedometer cables.” ~ Roald Dahl

“We all have our moments of brilliance and glory, and this was mine.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Eschew all those beastly adjectives…” ~ Roald Dahl

“Pain was something we were expected to endure. But I doubt very much if you would be entirely happy today if a doctor threw a towel in your face and jumped on you with a knife.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Frobscottle is sweet and jumbly!” ~ Roald Dahl

“Oh where, oh where had Snow White gone? She’d found it easy, being pretty To hitch a ride into the city.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The only meals they could afford were bread and margarine for breakfast, boiled potatoes and cabbage for lunch, and cabbage soup for supper.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Books shouldn’t be daunting, they should be funny, exciting and wonderful.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The witching hour, somebody had once whispered to her, was a special moment in the middle of the night when every child and every grown-up was in a deep deep sleep, and all the dark things came out from hiding and had the world all to themselves.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Unless you have been to boarding-school when you are very young, it is absolutely impossible to appreciate the delights of living at home.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Most of the really exciting things we do in our lives scare us to death. They wouldn’t be exciting if they didn’t.” ~ Roald Dahl

“My dear young fellow,? the Old-Green-Grasshopper said gently, ’there are a whole lot of things in this world of ours you haven’t started wondering about yet.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like so long as somebody loves you.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I don’t want a grown-up person at all. A grownup won’t listen to me; he won’t learn. He will try to do things his own way and not mine. So I have to have a child. I want a good sensible loving child, one to whom I can tell all my most precious candy-making secrets-while I am still alive.” ~ Roald Dahl

“However small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance was there.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Good authour Good books.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It’s impossible to make your eyes twinkle if you aren’t feeling twinkly yourself.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It was slowly beginning to dawn upon Henry that nothing is any fun if you can get as much of it as you want. Especially money.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Everyone is born. But not everyone is born the same. One way or another though, every human being is unique, for better or worse.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I began to realize how important it was to be an enthusiast in life. He taught me that if you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it at full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it. Lukewarm is no good. Hot is no good either. White hot and passionate is the only thing to be.” ~ Roald Dahl

“What a nice child she is, Miss Honey thought. I don’t care what her father said about her, she seems very quiet and gentle to me. And not a bit stuck up in spite of her brilliance.” ~ Roald Dahl

“She travelled all over the world while sitting in her little room in an English village.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Good strong hair,’ he was fond of saying, ‘means there’s a good strong brain underneath.’ ‘Like Shakespeare,’ Matilda had once said to him. ‘Like who?’ ‘Shakespeare, Daddy.’ ‘Was he brainy?’ ‘Very, Daddy.’ ‘He had masses of hair, did he?’ ‘He was bald, Daddy.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Good writing is essentially rewriting.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If I had my way, I’d remove January from the calendar altogether and have an extra July instead.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Unless one was going to become a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, an engineer or some other kind of professional person, I saw little point in wasting three or four years at Oxford or Cambridge, and I still hold this view.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Being very small and very young, the only power Matilda had over anyone in her family was brain-power.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A bad girl is a far more dangerous thing than a bad boy.” ~ Roald Dahl

“So the music is saying something to them. It is sending a message. I do not think the human beans is knowing what that message is, but they is loving it just the same.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If you are interested in something, no matter what it is, go at it at full speed ahead. Embrace it with both arms, hug it, love it and above all become passionate about it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The trouble is, I’m writer, and most writers are terrible nosey parkers.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It is very difficult to phone people in China, Mr. President,” said the Postmaster General.

“So shines a good deed in a weary world.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.” ~ Roald Dahl

“In any event, parents never underestimated the abilities of their own children. Quite the reverse. Sometimes it was well nigh impossible for a teacher to convince the proud father or mother that their beloved offspring was a complete nitwit.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, someone like the kind, courageous people in her books.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.” ~ Roald Dahl

“There are no strangers in here, just friends you haven’t met…” ~ Roald Dahl

“A life is made up of a great number of small incidents, and a small number of great ones.” ~ Roald Dahl

“When you’re writing, it’s rather like going on a very long walk.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Occasionally one comes across parents who take the opposite line, who show no interest at all in their children, and these of course are far worse than the doting ones.” ~ Roald Dahl

“There are a whole lot of things in this world of ours you haven’t even started wondering about yet.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I think probably kindness is my number one attribute in a human being. I’ll put it before any of the things like courage or bravery or generosity or anything else.” ~ Roald Dahl

“But it is impossible to replace a person one has loved with distractions.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I, Willy Wonka, have decided to allow five children – just five, mind you, and no more – to visit my factory this year.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Badger: The cuss you are. Mr. Fox: The cuss am I? Are you cussing with me?” ~ Roald Dahl

“Everything and all of them were being rattled around like peas inside an enormous rattle that was being rattled by a mad giant who refused to stop.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Give us strength, oh Lord, to let our children starve.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.” ~ Roald Dahl

“What’s your name?’ ‘Pilot Officer Dahl, sir.’ ‘Very well, Dahl,’ he said, weighing the package up and down in one hand. ‘This is on no account to fall into enemy hands. Guard it with your life. Do I make myself clear?’ ‘Yes, sir,’ I said, feeling important.” ~ Roald Dahl

“To shipbrokers, coal was black gold.” ~ Roald Dahl

“My Great Glass Elevator is ready for anything! In we go! Into the breach, dear friends, into the breach!” ~ Roald Dahl

“Sophie took the book out of his hand. ‘Nicholas Nickleby,’ she read aloud. ‘By Dahl’s Chickens,’ the BFG said. ‘By who?’ Sophie said.” ~ Roald Dahl

“But Mr Tibbs didn’t hesitate for long. ‘Tell the head gardener,’ he whispered, ’that I require immediately a brand new unused garden fork and also a spade. And for a knife we shall use the great sword hanging on the wall in the morning-room. But clean the sword well first. It was last used to cut off the head of King Charles the First and there may still be a little dried blood on the blade.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I understand what you’re saying, and your comments are valuable, but I’m gonna ignore your advice.” ~ Roald Dahl

“No book ever ends, when it’s full of your friends.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I think you is barking up the wrong dog.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The more risks you allow your children to make, the better they learn to look after themselves.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A little magic can take you a long way.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If you are going to get anywhere in life you have to read a lot of books.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Poppyrot and pigwash!” ~ Roald Dahl

“She decided that every time her father or her mother was beastly to her, she would get her own back in some way or another. A small victory or two would help her to tolerate their idiocies and would stop her from going crazy.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Prayers were held in Assembly Hall. We all perched in rows on wooden benches while teachers sat up on the platform in armchairs, facing us.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Sex is like nose picking. It’s fine as long as you practice it yourself, but it’s disgusting watching someone else doing it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The very rich are enormously resentful of bad weather. It is the one discomfort that their money cannot do anything about.” ~ Roald Dahl

“That’s why they always put two blank pages at the back of the atlas. They’re for new countries. You’re meant to fill them in yourself.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It was a very beautiful thing, this Golden Ticket, having been made, so it seemed, from a sheet of pure gold hammered out almost to the thinness of paper. On one side of it, printed by some clever method in jet-black letters, was the invitation itself – from Mr. Wonka.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I’m wondering what to read next.” ~ Roald Dahl

“A person is a fool to become a writer. His only compensation is absolute freedom.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as he finishes the book.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable.” ~ Roald Dahl

“An autobiography is a book a person writes about his own life and it is usually full of all sorts of boring details.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I is sometimes hearing faraway music coming from the stars in the sky.’ A.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Nobody gets a nervous breakdown or a heart attack from selling kerosene to gentle country folk from the back of a tanker in Somerset.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Then they would roll these handfuls of cloud in their fingers until they turned into what looked like large white marbles. Then they would toss the marbles to one side and quickly grab more bits of cloud and start over again.” ~ Roald Dahl

“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“We have so much time and so little to do. Strike that, reverse it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Don’t gobblefunk around with words.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If my books can help children become readers then I feel I have accomplished something important.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The writer walks out of his workroom in a daze. He wants a drink. He needs it.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Never in a month of Mondays.” ~ Roald Dahl

“You ignorant little slug!” the Trunchbull bellowed.

“The Trunchbull” is no match for Matilda!” ~ Roald Dahl

“We are now about to visit the most marvelous places and see the most wonderful things!” ~ Roald Dahl

“Human beans is the only animals that is killing their own kind.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Human beans is killing each other much quicker than the giants is doing it.’ ‘But they don’t eat each other,’ Sophie said. ‘Giants isn’t eating each other either,’ the BFG said. ‘Nor is giants killing each other. Giants is not very lovely, but they is not killing each other.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The maid screamed. The Queen gasped. Sophie waved.” ~ Roald Dahl

“All the reading she had done had given her a view of life that they had never seen.” ~ Roald Dahl

“If you are good life is good.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The walls were wet and sticky, and peach juice was dripping from the ceiling. James opened his mouth and caught some of it on his tongue. It tasted delicious.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I was glad my father was an eye-smiler. It meant he never gave me a fake smile because it’s impossible to make your eyes twinkle if you aren’t feeling twinkly yourself. A mouth-smile is different. You can fake a mouth-smile any time you want, simply by moving your lips. I’ve also learned that a real mouth-smile always has an eye-smile to go with it. So watch out, I say, when someone smiles at you but his eyes stay the same. It’s sure to be a phony.” ~ Roald Dahl

“The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives.” ~ Roald Dahl

“Titchy little snapperwhippers like you should not be higgling around with an old sage and onions who is hundreds of years more than you.” ~ Roald Dahl

“I shot down some German planes and I got shot down myself, crashing in a burst of flames and crawling out, getting rescued by brave soldiers.” ~ Roald Dahl

“No-one got rich being honest, the customers have to be diddled.” ~ Roald Dahl

“It was all this, I think, that made me begin to have doubts about religion and even about God. If this person, I kept telling myself, was one of God’s chosen salesmen on earth, then there must be something very wrong about the whole business.” ~ Roald Dahl